As much as I want to be vegan, I can't help always finding flaws in the hypotheses if vegan folks. Like Jim Mason -- I was just reading exerpts from his book, An Unnatural Order and he's talking about men hunting and women gathering in the earliest human groups and how that shaped our view of animals and domination, but I read in some Scientific American article that early female humans were actually very much involved in hunting and, in fact, were the first to develop weapons for hunting animals. And that little fact, recently discovered, destroys the connection between subjugation of women and of animals. Women have always hunted and eaten animals. I just think the anthropological views of Jim Mason are outdated and inaccurate. I would like to see an updated examination of the history of our relationship to animals and each other.
Trying to get the story straight in my own mind has held me back from embracing a revolution in my own life. I'd like to go vegan, boycott everything that doesn't meet my standards, and make the aim of my life to minimize the harm and impact of my existence. That's rather dreary, though. The process would involve making a lot of decesions, doing without many things, and refraining from doing a lot of things. Where do I draw the line? I don't want to stop driving, but how can I keep buying gas and stick to my principles? What are my principles? That is the main difficulting -- defining what is unacceptable and then cutting it out of my life. How radical, how extreme can I be without alienating the person I love most? I want him to have and do whatever he wants, but I can't really care as much about getting a house or traveling. I don't really give a shit about doing things if I have to sacrifice my principles in order to do them. So, I still have to get a job and, overall, figure out what to do with my time. What have I been doing with my time? Learning. Yet I still haven't boiled down everything I've read into a simple set of truths or a clear-cut cause to work towards. I can't even clearly picture the life I'd like to live. I've given up on happiness. I would be satisfied with simply not bieng horrified every day of my life at the consequence of my existence. I want to clear out and strip away anything that is harmful and pointless and wasteful.
love keeps me alive
- internal revolution